The self righteous New Yorker speaks out about... cars!

Do I still get to call myself a New Yorker? At this point, I would argue, yes. As a Navy brat, Brooklyn was the longest place I lived anywhere (9 years), and if you count the three in Westchester County, make that twelve. After high school, I went around calling myself a San Franciscan for at least five years, until I started feeling like a New Yorker. So I guess I will keep calling myself that as long as I feel like one. Please note that the first thing that I do in the morning (aside from coffee) is read the NY Times. And I ALWAYS read the metro section first.

So anyway, I've had to make solo trips down to almost-Orange-county for three days in a row. (AND we'll be going back on Saturday!) This involves three separate hellish highways. Yesterday, the trip was brilliantly made during rush hour, and I had my first true experience of driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

It felt so unreal to me. There I was, sitting in this hunk of metal, surrounded by this vast, slow-moving sea of hunks of metal. I felt dizzy and claustrophobic. Also, I was following Derek, and my technique of following him is to drive as closely as possible without rear-ending him. He loves that. And hey, if I do rear-end him, he'll still love me in the morning, whereas a random driver wouldn't.

Anyway, the thoughts running through my head as I sat in traffic freaking out included, I can't believe this is my life now. To me, the lifestyle in New York just made so much more sense! You walk out of your house, and you get on a train, and you are surrounded by other people on the train, and you can see who these people are and interact with them, and it is (for the most part) humane. When driving, it's always "this guy", "this asshole" - and sometimes you look and see that it's a teenager or a little old lady or whatever, but usually you have no idea who the fuck it is in the adjacent hunk of metal, cutting you off or maybe you're cutting them off. But they're just a car. And there you are in your little void, listening to the same Smiths tape over and over because you can't change the tape and drive at the same time. You are in your little warp with your thoughts and the Smiths, you might start to hyperventitilate and have a panic attack and NO ONE WOULD KNOW.

I won't even get started on cars and the environment, and how I've loved feeling self-righteous as a New Yorker for the past 9 years, self-righteous in the knowledge that I was not contributing to global warming and the evil oil industry (well, at least not in the car way). And now I am. And there are very few places we could move where I wouldn't be. And this is yet another reason why.....
New York is the Center of the Universe and the Best Place in the World.

Ode to the joy of being unemployed

Today I am waiting for a package, so I have an excuse (I mean, I'm stuck) to stay in the apt. all day.

Here are my glorious plans:
-sit around drinking coffee, reading blogs, and looking at the Times online for as long as I damn well please
-do laundry
-call Jin
-do yoga
-drink more coffee, haha
-pet the cats
-oh, maybe do some cleaning, but I did that yesterday

Please note that the only reason this is lovely is that I know that I am soon to be employed. Finally I can appreciate the joys of being stuck in the house.

And the winner is...

A 1993 Honda Accord. Derek will be the primary driver, because he is in love with the smooth brown interior.

My Dad is in town.

So, last night we all went out to dinner, and had to paralell park against a curb. When we were leaving, the passenger door would not close all the way, because it was too low to the curb, thus catching on the curb, and threatening to scrape. Derek suggested that I pull away from the curb, slightly, to loosen up the door. But before we could move forward with that plan, my Dad comes around to the side of the car, and LIFTS THE CAR in order to free the door.

Hello, man who had triple bypass surgery but six short months ago. Well, at least he's eating a lot of salad.

cars

Well, I totally wasn't planning on posting today. However, I do want to observe what hot debate the car buying process has inspired in my comments field! (Hot debate for this blog, that is. I guess it's more like civilized opinion-giving, but whatever.)

I have spent the past thirty years (that is, my entire life) being completely oblivious to cars. As many of you know, I didn't even know what kind of car Derek drives. I knew what color it was, and that it had Maryland plates, and that was good enough.

But suddenly, the car thing matters, as it apparently does to the rest of the adult world, even you New Yorkers! We went to three used car lots today to price them, and will be doing some research on Craig's list tomorrow. So keep the opinions coming!

In other exciting news, my driving continues to improve. I drove a lot yesterday, and only one time did I do something stupid, which was when leaving the gas station, I drove off the curb instead of using the driveway thingy. Tomorrow I have to do my first solo trip on a highway! Wish me luck!

employed!

This morning I (finally) became employed! To be exact, I'll be starting work on Nov. 7th, so I still have time to relax and purchase a used car in which I will be exploring the Valley making home visits! I'm really excited. Out of all the places I interviewed (six or seven!) it was the one that most reminded me of the job I loved so dearly in Brooklyn. It is community-based work and the people that interviewed me were excited about it in a political way. I wonder if those who are not in my field can imagine the difference in working for an agency that keeps it's politics straight - mental health is NOT apolitical. (what is, after all?)

Anyway, hopefully I will enjoy the work and it will live up to it's promise. I'm mostly relieved. Oh, and did I mention I'll be making 7K more than I was in Brooklyn right off the bat? Not small potatoes for a social worker. Then another large raise if I stick around long enough to get my license. Yay for California.

On a sad note, the wonderful Jin and Nate left this morning. It was so great to see them, and I have a feeling we'll be seeing them again soon. We'll see Nate at TG and hopefully I'll get my butt out to Colorado for one of the long winter weekends. (Colorado in February! Yeah!)

Last night we had a dinner party and whipped out the registry table settings AND utensils - woo hoo! This party was attended by J & N as well as my dear friend Rey. Between Derek and I, we'd known everyone in the room for at least nineteen years. There were such lovely memories to be had, such as Rey smoking his first cigarrette at age 12 (he didn't know he had to put it into his mouth light it), and Jin and I buying Rey a Japanese porno entitled "Dick". I believe it was his first porn. It just seemed like the perfect gift for him at the time.

It's amazing to have such old friends. The comfort level is about 100%, sibling-like. I really feel so blessed.

Also, I drank too much wine, pulled the brownies out of the oven, promptly dropped the pan and caught them with my bare elbow. Now there is a rectangular pus-coated patch of wrinkly melted away skin.

Love LA, Hate LA

Last night I loved LA because we took Nate and Jin to this amazing Oaxacan restaurant in Koreatown. I wanted to order everything on the menu but had to settle for an enchilada con mole rojo with Oaxacan string cheese and a mango margarita. Derek was a little disappointed in the menu because there were only a few vegetarian options, but for me, a couple tamales, a couple moles and various appetizers seemed good enough, and of course then I can move on to the fish. Enchilada: the salty-thick, noodle-like cheese swirling in sweet rich red sauce, the thick tortilla soaking it up like a sponge.... yummmmmmm. I wanted to go there again for dinner tonight but Derek said no.

Today I hated LA because it rained. I felt chained to the apt. We had to run errands that we could have run down the block to do in Brooklyn, but NOOOOO, because LA is so spread out, we had to get in the car and drive in the rain with all the other cranky drivers. It was quite unpleasant. I yearned for the subway. I yearned to skip out of the apartment with an umbrella, run across the street, and get the damn errands done.

Also, driving makes me cranky in general. Hopefully this is only because I am a new driver. Since almost everywhere except for New York requires people to drive at least once a day, I am hoping that I will not spend the rest of my life in a foul mood.

Dad's comments upon learning that I got my license:

"We'll all start saying our prayers."
"Call me when you end up in Washington State."
(imitating a high, female voice) "Dad, help, I'm in Washington! They won't let me in, I can't exit the freeway. Oh, everyone is going so fast, what should I do?"

Gotta love the T***** sense of humor.
(I was not offended.)

License to Drive

We chowhounded pizza last night, and I am sorry to say that New York has officially kicked the pizza ass of LA.

As everyone knows, fifteen years late, I FINALLY became a licensed driver yesterday.

I failed my first test last week, which prompted a complete nervous breakdown. Never have I felt such pressure, or put such pressure on myself. I think this was probably the low point of my move to LA. So much seemed to ride on the damn test: my ability to get a job, my ability to not depend on Derek as my chauffer, etc.

My Mom arrived in town that evening, and proceeded to completely distract me, and we had a lovely time together, until the last two days, when I thought we might kill each other. ah, the mother-daughter bond.

So yesterday, I arrive in Pasadena for my second driving test. Please note that last week I was informed that my failure was due to my lack of caution, which culminated in my making an unsafe turn resulting in "intervention by the instructor" - automatic failure. So this time, I am determined to be SUPER cautious. Derek's mantra: "they can't fail you for being too cautious." OK. So during the test, I drive five miles under the speed limit at all times. I stop to let teenagers cross the road, to let little old ladies hobble across the street, when making turns I wait until there are no cars over the horizon. I wait and wait, until the tester says: "JUST TURN!!!!" I think to myself: was that an automatic failure? But I keep driving anyway.

When we return to the DMV, we sit in the car in the oven like California sun while the tester gives me a twenty minute lecture about how, in order to drive safely, one needs to be "quick and decisive" and that this is a safety issue. One must not block traffic. One must not be "too nice" and one must always take the right of way. There were several times, she said, that I could have turned and I didn't. So I'm sitting with the lump welling up in my throat thinking about how I have to tell Derek that I failed AGAIN. And thinking, my God, there must be some mysterious middle-ground between cautious and quick that I have to find to pass the test. How the hell am I going to do that? I'm thinking, I will never again set foot in Pasadena. I'm thinking, all right lady, I failed, please let me out of the goddamn car. "So, can you work on that?" she says. "Can you work on that." "Um, sure," I say. "All right, I'll let it go this time. Go to window 24. Go!"

I stumble out of the car, up to Derek.

"Did you pass?" he asks.

"I have no idea." Together, we look at the form. Fifteen errors exactly, just scraping the limit. But she's checked the box for pass. So we run back into the DMV to sign the papers before she changes her mind.

week from hell

Two job interviews completed yesterday, one more today, then Thursday, the infamous driving test. Do I need to even say that the thing I am most nervous about is the driving test? I wake up thinking about that, not the job interviews.

The first interview yesterday went really well. It was for an agency that does similar work to my job in Brooklyn which I loved, so I thought that it would be a "good fit" for me, and I liked the people that I met. It also pays SO MUCH better than similar jobs in New York. It's only a 30 minute commute (by car), but the downside is that it is in the Valley, and would require home visits around the Valley, which would mean that not only do I have to successfully get my license, but also, MY OWN CAR!!! Now, if you really want to laugh, imagine me driving around the San Fernando Valley making home visits. Ha, ha. Anyway, this job is funded by the department of mental health, which means I have to get fingerprinted (and cleared) before they even offer me a job, so it will be awhile before I know whether these things are immediately necessary.

The second interview was a joke. It was for the Agency With The Most Money In the World. Seriously, I am used to working at little hole-in-the-wall community agencies that can barely scrape together the money for adequate office furniture. This agency was elaborately decorated with W*nnie the P**h scenery and life-sized, brand new looking P**h stuffed animals for kids in the waiting room. It was more like being in disney than a social-services agency. While I was waiting (and the HR woman had me waiting for close to an hour!!!) people with dogs were streaming in to do some sort of dog-therapy with kids. However, it turned out after all that waiting that I was just being "screened" by HR, and the woman couldn't even give me any concrete information about the position they were considering me for, plus told me that I might be ruled out even if I get my drivers license because I have no driving record. However, she did not know whether the duties for the position included driving. So that was annoying.

In case you are wondering, since I remain license-less, all this time Derek-the-saint is either sitting in the car or in a fast food restaurant doing his work.

Today I have an interview with an adoption agency. It's the public-transportation interview. It will take me well over an hour to get there, but I get to ride the LA subway thingy (yeah!) and I get to not be guilty about dragging Derek along on these adventures. Also, I get to wear my new Ann T*ylor petites interview outfit, and look like a complete yuppie. woo-hoo.

On a brighter note, my mother arrives (very late, stirring further controversy in the M&D household which I may or may not blog about) tomorrow night, and I am soooo excited to see her and go on adventures in the LA metropolitan area with her. Yay!

Yes! (almost)

http://www.unwellness.com

Do you know where this is?
How fun, I've discovered posting pictures. If I could only figure out how to link to Unwellness.

Two good things:

1. My neighborhood is magical to explore. It is filled with hills and narrow winding roads, and secret stairways half-hidden by flowering vines. It is also a neighborhood very conducive to aerobic excercise, such as running, hill-climbing, hill-climbing on all fours, and dragging one's husband up and down hills.

2. All-you-can-eat vegetarian Chinese. We were beginning to worry that New York was going to kick the Chinese food ass of LA. Not to worry. A couple of highway jumps away, not far from the town of Crasia's grandparents, there is a street of strip malls filled with Chinese resaurants. Derek had to order to all-you-can-eat, but it was NOT buffet style! It was all you can eat brought to you fresh at your table. Derek cannot wait for Jin and Nate's arrival, as he is planning to re-visit the infamous eating contest in a setting much more pleasant than W*ffle H*use.