Back West

One down, two to go. One of the three round trip cross country flights in one month, that is. It's not that bad. All one really needs is a good husband and a good book.

Complaining aside, it was great to spend time with the DC crowd and feel a bit less far away. And to appreciate what we have, as we took a post-TG-dinner walk and the freezing wind smacked us in the face. I can't say it wasn't nice to land in balmy California, it's almost enough to make you forget about the smog.

We came home to an apartment that had been used as a wall-to-wall toilet by the cats. Piss and shit, EVERYWHERE!!! Thanks, guys.

First Baby Dream

Well, as we walked romantically on the beach last weekend, Derek and I also hashed out our decision about when to start trying to have a baby. (gulp)

I was really happy about this because I have loads of anxiety about it, as I do with anything that I haven't done before and don't know if I'll really be able to do.

Which led to last night, and the appearance of my first (oh but surely not to be the last) baby anxiety dream.

I had a baby, but really I wasn't ready to have a baby. I was ambivalent, couldn't believe the baby was really mine, and kept leaving the baby with random others at a picnic. The baby was only one day old, but I couldn't breast feed. I tried and tried, but barely any milk at all would come out of my breasts. The baby would latch on, no problem, but only a tiny bit of milk would trickle out. I had nothing to give the baby. I was afraid the baby would die. I was unable to breast feed and couldn't figure out where to by formula. I was afraid that I would have to watch the baby grow weak and die, so I kept leaving the baby at the picnic.

Yes, you CAN go to the beach in November!

Derek and I haven't had much time lately to spend a whole day together. So yesterday we took off for the coast! Eating french fries and drinking a chocolate milkshake in the car, driving with the sunroof down in our hot new 1993 maroon and brown Honda Accord.
We drove up the PCH and past Malibu. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt, thinking it would be chilly since, after all, it is November. I was so wrong, and could have been frolicking in a bikini. But because people take this amazing November day for granted here in SoCal, the beach was practically empty, so we spent the afternoon lying on a green blanket and walking up and down the beach.
We're so lucky we found each other. Sometimes I wish I'd known Derek my whole life. Did I really need to be single and have bad boyfriends? I wish I'd met Derek in college. I wish I'd had a crush on him in high school. I wish he'd been a kid living in my neighborhood. I wish he'd been the baby in the next crib over.

Oh, I guess it is working.
Not much to report over the past week. It's a beautiful sunny weekend in Southern California.
We are gearing up for the holiday season from hell. We will be making three round trips to the East Coast over the course of three weeks. Are we insane???????

why isn't my blog working???????????

I must admit that it is more difficult to keep this thing updated now that I am back at work - and no internet access at my desk as of yet.

Here's what's going on with me since returning to LA.

1. Thanks to Ms. Bri, I am still suffering from a very annoying cold. Especially at night, when I can't stop coughing and gross things come out of me. Thanks, Bri.

2. I started my new job and have been in training all week. Hopefully I will have clients soon, because right now it is just overwhelming to take in a ton of new information. I do like the people I'm working with. They recently expanded and I am one of five new hires, so it's been good to have a group of people to bond with early on. Usually, it takes me forever to "make friends", especially at work, so I am really grateful for this.

3. Derek went on a job interview in Memphis, which went well. We are keeping our fingers crossed. People, I am not crazy. I just want to get knocked up, and this is not going to happen until the man gets a job for next year. He is very stubborn, the man.

4. Most thrillingly, last night I had another reunion from my days as a teeny-bopper in Japan. Derek and I had a loooong dinner at the home of my friend Chris, where we met his adorably chubby-cheeked baby, his wife who is like a female version of him (and was the first actual women who I've met here with whom I felt some sort of friend potential -yay), and subjected our spouses to hours of video footage of ourselves at age 13 and 14. We were tempted to watch the video over and over and analyze it, but I think the other people in the room had had enough, so we'll have to save it for next time.

5. Now, I am going to go purchase my tickets to Asia's wedding! Yes!

Live from New York

Ms. Bri really wanted me to blog from Brooklyn, so here I am. I am sitting at Ms. Bri's computer while she sloshes up her fever while her husband and child gallavant around the living room with the animals.
THANK YOU BRI, WES, AND CHILD!
They really are the most lovely people to stay with. They don't make you feel weird or uncomfortable at all, and they go about their business and they say and do funny things. Sometimes I'm just tempted to move in with them permanently. But I do miss my husband.
It feels impossible and daunting to put down in a nutshell what it has been like to visit in Brooklyn when it is no longer my home. Or if it is my home, it is no longer the Place Where I Live. It's still so much easier to be here. I just feel like a little fishy in a stream. I know where to go and how to do everything. It's especially evident in transportation. I love walking and being on the subway. It feels so much more natural to me.
I've seen twelve friends in six days, not even counting a visit to my old job today where I saw many many people and acted as an impromptu consultant on my old cases. As sad as I am to not be there, it was helpful to feel like a professional again after two months of unemployment, especially as I nervously start a brand new job on Monday.
But the most important part of being here has been spending time with my wonderful and amazing friends, and I know I will be in absolute withdrawal when I return.
It was worth it. Tonight we are going to embarrass Asia.