so tired.

I'm so tired I could pull my eyeballs out. And a bit nauseous, which may be related to being tired. Yesterday baby was up at 5am (and on) with diarrhea that necessitated a complete strip and bath and scouring of a large portion of his room as well as a full change of clothes for both of us. At 5am. Yes. Last night baby apparently had insomnia. I finally got him to nap. But instead of napping myself I am faithfully pumping. I cannot wait until he turns a year and I stop pumping. I am thinking of starting the cows milk a few weeks earlier to be done with pumping. That wouldn't be such a horrible thing, would it? My milk supply has gone down to the point that I question whether I'm really sending him to daycare with enough milk.
drip, drip, drip goes the milk. I used to be so lucky - 8 oz in ten minutes, it could really spew. Now, 2 - 4 oz and I'm lucky to call it a day. On the bright side, I'm no longer leaking from just thinking the word "baby".

ADDED:

NOOOOOO! after 20 minutes of faithfully pumping, I just spilled half the milk down my shirt. I repeat. NOOOOOOO!

Bullet Points

• We are putting a bid on a house (or attempting to) so this should be a week of excitement, right before the holidays too. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good about committing to this area for a few more years. I love the town we are planning to live in, and it was so beautiful yesterday all muffled and blanketed on the snow.
• But to get back to the highway, you have to drive down an (unplowed) country road, and our car skidded in the ice leaving Derek, me, and a screaming Kian in a ditch. Fortunately two men and a pregnant woman came by, hitched us to their jeep, and pulled us out. We were just loving the good-hearted midwestern-ness of it all. No sarcasm there.
• Kian is beginning to take a few clumsy, zombie like steps. He has not yet learned to bend his knees. But it's absolutely adorable.
• The only issue I'm having about staying here is a mini career crisis. I like my job enough for right now (though it is probably one of the hardest jobs I've had), but am really struggling to come up with a long-term plan, and sometimes I feel resentful that we had to leave NY where my trajectory was very clear, and my career quite rewarding. Ugh.