postpartum
Thanks to lagiulia, who sent me her pouch, my baby is now sleeping peacefully against me as I type, leaving me some time to blog.
Since I wrote out K's birth story (as did Bri), I've been thinking about also writing a bit about the immediate postpartum experience, before it fades. This experience was much tougher than I had anticipated. There were certain symptoms that popped up that I think are not uncommon but which we tend to forget. This is my theory because things kept happening to me and my Mom would respond: "Now I remember that happened to me too!" OK, maybe it's just me and my Mom. But here are some of the various lovely postpartum experiences that I had not been forewarned about.
1. Blood loss resulting in low iron resulting in fainting and almost-fainting. For the first twenty-four hours, I could not get up to walk across the room to go to the bathroom by myself. The second time I went to the bathroom after giving birth, I was accompanied by a very compassionate nurse named Joey. After peeing, I collapsed onto the floor, where both Joey and Derek (who she called into the room) rubbed my arms and legs to keep me from completely losing consciousness. This brings me to symptom number two:
2. The shakes. I lay on the bathroom floor fainting and shaking and chattering violently and uncontrollably. I continued to have the shakes if I "exerted myself" (ie got out of bed) for the next couple of days. Because of the fainting and shaking, for the rest of the time I was in the hospital (I was in-patient about 36 hours, total) I would be wheeled the ten feet to the bathroom in a wheelchair. (and I always thought preggo/postpartum women were being "babied" when they were being wheeled around)
3. Extreme fear of pooping. Maybe this is too much information. And maybe this is just because I had an episiotomy. But the thought of pooping literally brought me to tears after giving birth, it seemed like such a scary idea. I cried to my mother, I cried to Derek, I cried to the midwife, and I probably cried to Bri. Interestingly, this was more psychological than physical. When I actually did the deed, it was no big deal after all.
4. I guess I had read that this happens, the cheesy name they give it in the preggo books is the "baby blues". But it's true, the first few days home from the hospital I was very teary. I wanted to cry because I felt overwhelmed, I wanted to cry because giving birth had been so fucking scary, I wanted to cry because I'd had an episiotomy, you name it. Lots of weepiness.
5. All of the "witnesses" (me, Derek, Bri, probably poor little K. as well) were sort of traumatized by the birth experience. I think we all had to talk about it several times in order to get it out of our systems. I guess I had been warned about this a bit too, but I couldn't imagine it until I went through it. Giving birth was sort of a shattering experience. There were great things about it, notably the consistent and positive support that I got from Derek, Bri, the midwife, and the nurses, but it was an awesome and terrifying experience as well. I guess you really have to break yourself open in order to bring a new life into the world.
6. Finally, a brief note on how difficult breastfeeding was at first. I know this is not true for everyone, but most people I have talked to have experienced extreme pain during the first week or so. Extreme pain with cracked, scabbed, and bloody nipples! Yes, that's what happens when suddenly your nipples are being sucked on for about eight hours a day with the force of - I don't even know what! However, if you asked any of the nurses I consulted in the hospital, they would tell you that any pain at all meant that the baby was latching on incorrectly. Well, K. and I worked really hard on the latch, but we weren't always doing it wrong and still it hurt like a motherf*cker. It hurt so much that sometimes I would be bent over his little nursing head in tears and contemplating formula - especially in the middle of the night. So anyone who tells you that breastfeeding should be perfectly painless during the first week or so is just lying! I don't know why the lactation consultant people seem to want to hide this ugly little fact from prospective breastfeeders. Do they think we won't breastfeed if we know ahead of time? I was much more likely to feel like giving up when I thought I was the only one having this painful experience and that there was something wrong with me and my baby. Here is what I think it takes to succeed with breastfeeding and get over the hump (other than lansin*h and s*othies and being careful about the latch): patience, persistance, and friends who tell you the ugly truth.
Since I wrote out K's birth story (as did Bri), I've been thinking about also writing a bit about the immediate postpartum experience, before it fades. This experience was much tougher than I had anticipated. There were certain symptoms that popped up that I think are not uncommon but which we tend to forget. This is my theory because things kept happening to me and my Mom would respond: "Now I remember that happened to me too!" OK, maybe it's just me and my Mom. But here are some of the various lovely postpartum experiences that I had not been forewarned about.
1. Blood loss resulting in low iron resulting in fainting and almost-fainting. For the first twenty-four hours, I could not get up to walk across the room to go to the bathroom by myself. The second time I went to the bathroom after giving birth, I was accompanied by a very compassionate nurse named Joey. After peeing, I collapsed onto the floor, where both Joey and Derek (who she called into the room) rubbed my arms and legs to keep me from completely losing consciousness. This brings me to symptom number two:
2. The shakes. I lay on the bathroom floor fainting and shaking and chattering violently and uncontrollably. I continued to have the shakes if I "exerted myself" (ie got out of bed) for the next couple of days. Because of the fainting and shaking, for the rest of the time I was in the hospital (I was in-patient about 36 hours, total) I would be wheeled the ten feet to the bathroom in a wheelchair. (and I always thought preggo/postpartum women were being "babied" when they were being wheeled around)
3. Extreme fear of pooping. Maybe this is too much information. And maybe this is just because I had an episiotomy. But the thought of pooping literally brought me to tears after giving birth, it seemed like such a scary idea. I cried to my mother, I cried to Derek, I cried to the midwife, and I probably cried to Bri. Interestingly, this was more psychological than physical. When I actually did the deed, it was no big deal after all.
4. I guess I had read that this happens, the cheesy name they give it in the preggo books is the "baby blues". But it's true, the first few days home from the hospital I was very teary. I wanted to cry because I felt overwhelmed, I wanted to cry because giving birth had been so fucking scary, I wanted to cry because I'd had an episiotomy, you name it. Lots of weepiness.
5. All of the "witnesses" (me, Derek, Bri, probably poor little K. as well) were sort of traumatized by the birth experience. I think we all had to talk about it several times in order to get it out of our systems. I guess I had been warned about this a bit too, but I couldn't imagine it until I went through it. Giving birth was sort of a shattering experience. There were great things about it, notably the consistent and positive support that I got from Derek, Bri, the midwife, and the nurses, but it was an awesome and terrifying experience as well. I guess you really have to break yourself open in order to bring a new life into the world.
6. Finally, a brief note on how difficult breastfeeding was at first. I know this is not true for everyone, but most people I have talked to have experienced extreme pain during the first week or so. Extreme pain with cracked, scabbed, and bloody nipples! Yes, that's what happens when suddenly your nipples are being sucked on for about eight hours a day with the force of - I don't even know what! However, if you asked any of the nurses I consulted in the hospital, they would tell you that any pain at all meant that the baby was latching on incorrectly. Well, K. and I worked really hard on the latch, but we weren't always doing it wrong and still it hurt like a motherf*cker. It hurt so much that sometimes I would be bent over his little nursing head in tears and contemplating formula - especially in the middle of the night. So anyone who tells you that breastfeeding should be perfectly painless during the first week or so is just lying! I don't know why the lactation consultant people seem to want to hide this ugly little fact from prospective breastfeeders. Do they think we won't breastfeed if we know ahead of time? I was much more likely to feel like giving up when I thought I was the only one having this painful experience and that there was something wrong with me and my baby. Here is what I think it takes to succeed with breastfeeding and get over the hump (other than lansin*h and s*othies and being careful about the latch): patience, persistance, and friends who tell you the ugly truth.
posted by Melissa at 3:28 PM
1 Comments:
I'm so glad he likes the pouch!
A lot of the things you say are right on. Birth is overwhelming and hard to wrap your mind around. Breastfeeding is quite a task, and we aren't prepared for that in general. (I think for me it was a lot easier than I thought, though, because my mom and her mom claimed to be unable to breastfeed- I thought I'd suffer the same fate!) Good for you for being honest about everything. We need to be honest with each other and share our stories as much as possible.
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