cars and trucks

It's been so long since I've written here that blogger has changed up on me. Guilt. The truth is, with the potential career change in the works, blogging has really fallen into the place of lowest priority. Plus, F*cebook just seems so much more fun right now. It's all shiny and new, and there is less work involved.

Little K. is growing (cognitively) in leaps and bounds. There has been road work on our block this week and so there is constant excited talk about that. "A truck! A truck! Digging! Digging the dirt! Orange!" Yes, he just likes to throw orange in there. Just for kicks. Obsessed with the color orange.

He's also (knock on wood) been going to sleep on his own! We just put him in his bed, leave the room, go about our business, and when we check on him he is lying in his crib fast asleep. No crying. And we didn't really DO anything. Just seems like he was ready for it. 18 months later. Hopefully I'm not jinxing it by writing it down.

fuel price freak-out

No, this is not about the price of gasoline at the pump. I wish cars and gas pumps would disappear and we would all have access to safe bikeways and manageable public transportation.

This is my mourning for the days of the cheap airplane ticket. Remember when we were in college and you could literally fly to Europe for a couple hundred dollars?

But this is not about Europe even. When we moved here, part of the deal was budgeting in a few trips a year to NY or elsewhere to be with friends and family. And at that point, plane tickets were half the price they are now. So do that math. (Because you know I can't, haha.)

Of course, things couldn't have been sustained the way they were going. And in an ideal world we would all live closer so that we wouldn't have to do something as wasteful as to hop into an airplane to see one another. But it makes returning to the East coast, eventually, seem like more and more of a necessity. And I'm feeling a little sad about it today. The expense makes everyone seem that much farther away. It was much easier to deal with psychologically when tickets really were so cheap that I felt like I could buy one on a whim. A little freak-out trip. Not so much anymore.

My, things are hectic around here....

We just had 3 weekends in a row with wonderful visitors. Then a family reunion/trip to the Cape that got extended due to a flight cancellation (not that we minded!). And now I've returned and thrust myself in to the midst of a potential big, risky career change.

Woo hoo!

All of this makes me not feel like blogging. I am only blogging right not to avoid doing the dishes. I HATE doing the dishes, yet somehow it usually winds up being my chore. Puke.

So, instead of writing, I give you a picture of Baby K., the first, but surely not the last, time he got all muddy!

Attachment

Wanted to share a picture of K. looking like a little wood-imp. Look at those chubby little fingers!

I've been thinking a lot about attachment. It seems impossible to me, the way it must change over the years. When my mother was visiting a few weeks ago, I looked over at her and thought, well, I know she loves me, but surely she doesn't want to just grab me and cuddle me all the time. Surely her favorite scent is not my sweaty scalp. Because that pretty much is my favorite scent. The sweat on K's scalp. I kid you not, I can smell it from the front seat of the car when I'm driving and he's in his carseat. It's particularly pungent when he's just breaking into sleep. Tell me I'm not the only one with a weird thing like this.

Anyway, I asked my Mom, how does it change? How do you go from wanting to bury your face in your baby's hair to, you know, having a normal adult relationship with your adult child?

She had one word: Adolescence. Then they reject you and you have to get over it.

Hard to imagine. I hope I'm able to separate in a sane way, and that I'm not some psycho clingy Mom.

N*scar Sheets and gender stuff

The great question, do we unavoidably socialize our children towards gendered cliches? Or can this be avoided? The question itself is a cliche.

I was horrified when I opened a package of hand-me-downs and found a set of N*scar sheets. Then I found out that Derek had approved the sending of the sheets. He had been asked explicitly if he wanted them, and he said yes.

No, Derek is not N*scar fan. He is not even a car freak. But he is frugal to the verge of miserly. (OK, fine, I just like to say the word "miser". Derek is not really a miser.) He is extremely frugal. So he would rather use the N*scar sheets than go out and buy a new pair of sheets.

I hated the sheets on two levels. One, the gender presumption that boys love cars so much that they want to roll around on their image in their sleep. Second, there is the branding. I would have been happier with no-brand cars. The truth is, I have dressed K. in many, many hand-me-downs, some of them have images of cars, trucks, and various other gendered things on them. Not my favorite clothes, but when the favorites are dirty, I've been known to send the boy out in such things. (Note: I actually don't have a problem with dressing him in certain sports clothes, because Derek actually is an Or*oles fan, for example. So Derek can put him in black and orange and then if I want to stick him in a onesie that says "I love yoga" that's fine too.) But I have rejected branding. I've put anything with the image of elmo or m*ckey straight into the goodwill bag.

So, the N*scar sheets. I wanted to get rid of them. Derek was being frugal. They are not crib sheets, so he wouldn't be using them for quite some time anyway. Finally, I agreed that we could keep them around ONLY if we didn't tell K. about them (so as not to socialize him into liking cars, you know) and we would ONLY bring them out and let K. use them if he turned out to be a car-obsessed little boy who was just dying for car sheets, and that this would have to be a decision he came to spontaneously.

K. is learning a lot of language right now and he tends to latch onto one word and say it sort of obsessively. Until recently, his favorite word was "tree" (pronounced tree-ya). I loved it. Go nature boy! Yeah! Then, I bought him some blocks, and in the bag of blocks there was a block with wheels. And this block was somehow very appealing. And the next thing I know, his favorite word is "a cah." Hopefully this is just a passing phase. Otherwise I may have to learn to live with those sheets.

Five Things MeMe

For lack of imagination, I submit a meme from Bri's blog.

What were you doing five years ago?
Living with Derek in Brooklyn, applying for new jobs since I was getting sick of my current job. Working in ENY. Ironically, that was the first time I visited D*yton, and the town where I currently live, while visiting Derek during his one-month residency at the foundation.

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order)?

• Go for a hike with Mom
  
• Buy groceries
  
• Clean the kitchen
  
• Finish book so I can return it to Mom before she leaves
  
• Cook pasta with summer squash, walnuts, and asparagus to dinner
  

What are five snacks you enjoy?

• raisins and almonds
  
• cheese and crackers
  
• grapefruit
  
• yogurt, esp. Greek yogurt
  
• toast with almond butter and jelly
  

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

• open an agency in my current city similar to the one I lived worked at in Brooklyn
  
• set my Mom up for a comfortable retirement
  
• travel the world
  
• buy a brownstone somewhere in Brooklyn and live there, Derek could just do his research since we would be independently wealthy (I suppose this contradicts number one. I could then fund my old agency to start another outpost in a neighborhood that needed the services.)
  
• Pay for someone else to clean my house. Also, have massages, facials, get my nails done all the time, lounge around in spas. But I would still like to do most of my own gardening. Ooops, that was more than five.
  

What are five of your bad habits?

• Procrastination on housework. (ie. what I am doing right now)
  
• Eating too many raisins.
  
• Wanting to eat sweets all the time. Ice-cream, chocolate, brownies and cookies.
  
• Talking on the phone while driving.
  
• Not blogging enough.
  

What are five places where you have lived?

• Brooklyn
  
• SF
• Oxford, England
  
• Bronxville, NY
  
• Sasebo, Japan
  

What are five jobs you’ve had?

• assistant pre-school teacher
  
• paralegal at the federal public defender
  
• temp receptionist
  
• babysitter
  
• employment counselor
  

Now what?

I said I would post every Friday, so I'm giving it a try.
However, I seem to have serious problems knowing what to write about. So, I will just put random thoughts out there.

Random paragraph one:
Today was my day off with K. We had a "play date" in the morning which actually meant that I got to take a walk on the bike path with one of my favorite friends here and have adult conversation. Then we took the babies to get pizza and they were both very well-behaved in their high chairs. In the afternoon, K. and I went to a yoga class together. Now he is in his crib, passed out from exhaustion. It was a good day.

Random paragraph two:
Now that we have bought a house and settled down for awhile, the next project is to come up with a long-term plan for my career. I like my current job fine, but do not love it. I would like to find a way to work more in-depth. (I don't want to really get into the job on the blog, so I'm being vague.) I'm going to a workshop in a few weeks to explore a training program. I hope I figure out what to do soon. One of the things I neglected to really mourn when we left Brooklyn was the job that I had. It was at a place that could have been my "career home" - a place that I would have been quite happy to work the bulk of my working life. At the time, I mistakenly thought it wouldn't be too hard to find a place that I liked just as well. I was really in denial.

Random paragraph three:
Is anyone else getting sick of the election? I was so excited about just a few short weeks ago. Now I wish they'd just figure it out already, the dems. And at this point, I care very little which candidate wins.