what's the deal with nervous diarrhea?
OK just to dispell all your wondering immediately, no, I do not have my dl, but no, I did not fail the test. What happened, you ask? We went all the way to the DMV, went to the window to register for the test, only to be turned away because Derek does not yet have a California driver's license! He is still licensed in Maryland. (yes, Maryland) So, I was not even allowed to take the test, and technically he is not even supposed to be my driving teacher/helper. WTF????? So, after all that, the test won't happen until next week. Meanwhile, another five pounds has literally dropped out of my ass. (see above caption)
So, we left the DMV with a good attitude. Of course, I was perversely relieved that I didn't have to take the damn test and kept chanting my mantra that I could only be a BETTER, not worse, driver by next week. Right? Derek revealed that he also had sympathy nervous diarrhea this morning, and we had a lovely discussion on whether ND is food you would have digested had you not been nervous, food you would have digested over a longer period of time, or just your regular poop coming out soft. Any thoughts? (I have a feeling everyone is just going to ignore that one.)
I can't believe it's only noon because I've already had a nervous break down today. When we got home from the DMV, I discovered that I have another offer for a job interview. However, the interview is on a Wed., and and my driver's test isn't until Thurs., which means I can't get there on my own and Derek is supposed to have office hours during that time. This means public transportation. I did the research and it will take an hour and three buses/trains for me to get there while it would be about a twenty minute drive. So then I threw a fit at Derek for not driving me anyway, because who wants the added anxiety of taking 50 forms of public transportation on the way to a job interview? Then I felt guilty, and turned into a weeping, sobbing mass of self-pity AND anger. IE: "I didn't ask to come to a LA, I didn't ask to leave the job that I loved, what if I don't get a job here, I'm sick of being unemployed, dependent on you, and a burden." When I could not possibly go any lower with this nervous breakdown, I finally gathered myself together and decided to take a trial run of public transportation to the area this week, and if it's too horrible, to insist that Derek cut his office hours short. Or something.
God, it's so weird how I can go along being fine and dealing and then have a complete exhausting break down! It makes me feel a little crazy. If anyone could reassure me that they too at times have weeping and sobbing nervous breakdowns, it would make me feel better. Maybe even if you don't you should pretend that you do in order to be a nice friend.
Speaking of wonderful friends, I would like to wish the illustrious JIN a very Happy Birthday today. I hope that you are having ALL KINDS of fun, because you deserve it.
So, we left the DMV with a good attitude. Of course, I was perversely relieved that I didn't have to take the damn test and kept chanting my mantra that I could only be a BETTER, not worse, driver by next week. Right? Derek revealed that he also had sympathy nervous diarrhea this morning, and we had a lovely discussion on whether ND is food you would have digested had you not been nervous, food you would have digested over a longer period of time, or just your regular poop coming out soft. Any thoughts? (I have a feeling everyone is just going to ignore that one.)
I can't believe it's only noon because I've already had a nervous break down today. When we got home from the DMV, I discovered that I have another offer for a job interview. However, the interview is on a Wed., and and my driver's test isn't until Thurs., which means I can't get there on my own and Derek is supposed to have office hours during that time. This means public transportation. I did the research and it will take an hour and three buses/trains for me to get there while it would be about a twenty minute drive. So then I threw a fit at Derek for not driving me anyway, because who wants the added anxiety of taking 50 forms of public transportation on the way to a job interview? Then I felt guilty, and turned into a weeping, sobbing mass of self-pity AND anger. IE: "I didn't ask to come to a LA, I didn't ask to leave the job that I loved, what if I don't get a job here, I'm sick of being unemployed, dependent on you, and a burden." When I could not possibly go any lower with this nervous breakdown, I finally gathered myself together and decided to take a trial run of public transportation to the area this week, and if it's too horrible, to insist that Derek cut his office hours short. Or something.
God, it's so weird how I can go along being fine and dealing and then have a complete exhausting break down! It makes me feel a little crazy. If anyone could reassure me that they too at times have weeping and sobbing nervous breakdowns, it would make me feel better. Maybe even if you don't you should pretend that you do in order to be a nice friend.
Speaking of wonderful friends, I would like to wish the illustrious JIN a very Happy Birthday today. I hope that you are having ALL KINDS of fun, because you deserve it.
posted by Melissa at 2:51 PM
5 Comments:
Hey, Melissa.
1. Everyone has tantrums. Some have them silently in a repressed quiet seething kind of way (not me, though. i like to scream and cry). You are in a very emotionally difficult moment in your life right now. Tantrum city. It's unavoidable, I think.
2. Did you make the trip via public transport yet? You know, I don't want to start somethink with Derek here, but I really do not think it is a big deal to cancel his office hours this once. The professor I am TA-ing for just canceled hers for three weeks running because she is pregnant and feels ill. Hey, sometimes I just blow mine off entirely (well, once). I know this is not unusual. I know he wants to do a good job and impress his students and the faculty and play by the rules, but I think he could make an exception this once. And if he announces in class that he won't be there ahead of time, he won't even inconvenience anyone. Anyway, so I think that he should drive you. (Sorry, Derek)
3. Who is going to be your "legitimate" helper at your next driving test with a CA license? That rule is COMPLETELY idiotic. I mean, come on. States rights for driving? Yes, the standards for driving are much higher in California than in Maryland!?
- A
You and Derek are gross.
And tantrums are normal. Why, just yesterday I WAILED about how very mean my husband was because he insisted upon cooking a whole separate meal after dinner. See, I was starving and he was late getting home and I didn't want to wait the 40 minutes for the thing he really wanted to cook. Plus I was mad that he wanted to cook something mushroom-ish when I don't generally care for mushrooms so much. MAAAA-AAAAD. So I threw a fit until I was allowed to make us soy bacon sandwiches for dinner instead. After all this instant gratification, dear husband took it upon himself to make the quinoa/spinach/shitake dish he was interested in, just so we could take it to work for lunch. Then he put it in little individual serving tupperwares and fixed little tiny containers of dressing for it. And STILL, I did WAIL at him MORE this morning because I had nothing but that to take for lunch and didn't he know that I don't care so much for mushrooms?
And then I ate it and it was really yummy.
Oops.
I have tantrums every single day. Most of them are inside my head, but I spend a lot of time visiting with my inner two year old.
Thanks you guys. I'm sure my tantrums will continue. (I know they will.) I'll try to enjoy them. Also, I'll continue to tell you about it. That way, whenever any of us has a tantrum, we can think of the other ones doing it too and feel less abnormal.
Hi, Melissa. Hope you don't mind me reading your blog/weighing in here. (hey, isn't it funny that briar got us both to start blogs?) First, I disagree with Briar that you and Derek are gross: 1)Patrick and I talk about poop all the time, and 2)Wes and Briar are famous for their obsession with ovarian cysts made of hair and tooth cells, so come on. Second, I've had my share of sobbing break-downs. Moving is hard, being unemployed is really hard, and it sounds like you are perfectly normal to me. Hang in there!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home