So, here is the anxiety topic.
I really might fail my licensing exam. Last night I had one dream that I failed it and another that they told me that they were failing me because I didn't deserve the license because I plan to be a stay-at-home Mom for about 6 months after taking the exam. In the second dream I was at least outraged, demanding to speak to a supervisor, and threatening to sue for discrimination.
I am already a "licensed clinical social worker" in the state of New York, but because of "grandfathering" rules I did not have to take the standardized test to get this license. Instead, I wrote and submitted two papers about my clinical work with two different clients. I was pleased with my two little papers, and writing two little papers is soooo much easier for me than taking a standardized test. But now I need to take the damn test, because even if we don't stay in Ohio, every other state (except CA, which has it's own TWO special standardized tests) won't accept you as licensed unless you've jumped through this particularly hoop.
So, I've been studying my butt off for the past month. Before studying, I took the sample test offered by the test makers, and passed, but only with a VERY SLIM MARGIN people. Since studying, I've taken several more sample tests, but all of these are the free samples offered over the internet by companies trying to sell you their extremely overpriced (hundreds of dollars) study guides. I do not know how valid/legit these little tests are. Some of them I have passed with flying colors and others I have FAILED.
I am trying to figure out why I am not doing better on these tests. Objectively, I feel that I am a competent practitioner and have a pretty good knowledge base. I'd like to tell myself that it has more to do with standardized-test-taking-freak-out, so I'm trying to take a good look at that process too.
I will feel so humiliated if I fail this test, and I think it is a possibility! It just brings back so many feelings of being one of those kids who wasn't good at everything surrounded by kids who were good at everything. I know I'm not an idiot, but I'm terrible at math and I'm not great at standardized tests, so I've never been one of those all-around excellers. It would really suck to feel that I am legitimately good at something (being a therapist/social worker) and then have a standardized test say, "Actually, you suck at it."
I am already a "licensed clinical social worker" in the state of New York, but because of "grandfathering" rules I did not have to take the standardized test to get this license. Instead, I wrote and submitted two papers about my clinical work with two different clients. I was pleased with my two little papers, and writing two little papers is soooo much easier for me than taking a standardized test. But now I need to take the damn test, because even if we don't stay in Ohio, every other state (except CA, which has it's own TWO special standardized tests) won't accept you as licensed unless you've jumped through this particularly hoop.
So, I've been studying my butt off for the past month. Before studying, I took the sample test offered by the test makers, and passed, but only with a VERY SLIM MARGIN people. Since studying, I've taken several more sample tests, but all of these are the free samples offered over the internet by companies trying to sell you their extremely overpriced (hundreds of dollars) study guides. I do not know how valid/legit these little tests are. Some of them I have passed with flying colors and others I have FAILED.
I am trying to figure out why I am not doing better on these tests. Objectively, I feel that I am a competent practitioner and have a pretty good knowledge base. I'd like to tell myself that it has more to do with standardized-test-taking-freak-out, so I'm trying to take a good look at that process too.
I will feel so humiliated if I fail this test, and I think it is a possibility! It just brings back so many feelings of being one of those kids who wasn't good at everything surrounded by kids who were good at everything. I know I'm not an idiot, but I'm terrible at math and I'm not great at standardized tests, so I've never been one of those all-around excellers. It would really suck to feel that I am legitimately good at something (being a therapist/social worker) and then have a standardized test say, "Actually, you suck at it."
posted by Melissa at 10:00 AM
2 Comments:
I hate that standardized tests exist and I hate even more that you have to ever take another one. I am sorry. I think that you won't fail and that if you do it is a dumb, dumb test and you must try extra hard to not think it means you are a bad social worker. You have been an excellent friend therapist.
and i can tell you from my experiences tutoring and teaching for the sat/gre/lsat that those tests put out by private companies are sometimes much too hard and sometimes much too easy. they seem never to be at the same level as the real thing. so don't let that get you down. i believe you will pass, especially if you've been studying for a month. but even if you don't it has NOTHING to do with your skills and EVERYthing to do with the idiocy of trying to measure something like being a competent therapist with multiple choice questions. sorry you have to go through this. when is the test date? Also if you tell me how the test is structured i may be able to give you some general standardized test taking strategies... -A
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